Share Your Decisions
Even if you have made your end-of-life decisions and completed all the necessary legal documents, there’s one more step to take to make sure your decisions will be followed. Share your decisions with family and friends, healthcare providers, faith leaders, and legal and financial advisors, if you have them. Also, let everyone know where your legal documents can be found. There’s a place to list these on your Financial Inventory List [PDF]
File Your Records
Keep your durable power of attorney, advance directives, and will in a safe place in your home, and let people know where that is. Although a safe deposit box sounds like a good place to keep these important documents, it has two big drawbacks: The box is only available when the bank is open and only to people who are signers on the box with you. You could keep originals in your box for safekeeping and keep copies at home.
| In Your Safe Deposit Box | In a Safe Place at Home |
|---|---|
| Birth Certificates | Employment Records |
| Marriage Certificates | Health Insurance Information |
| Divorce Decrees | Insurance Policies |
| Advance Directives (originals) | Wills (copies) |
| Death Certificates | Durable Power of Attorney (for financial decisions) |
| Car Titles | Advance Directives (copies) |
| Property Titles | Inventory of Safe Deposit Box and Key |
| Insurance Policies - life, health others (copies) | Financial Inventory List |
| Summary of employee benefits —pensions, 401(k) plans, others | |
| Bonds and stock Certificates | |
| Veteran's Papers |
Although this information can be very important to have at the end of life, it provides a strong foundation for good financial planning at any stage of life. It might even get you thinking about your own goals and financial planning.
What if We Disagree?
You're feeling very good about the conversations you're having with your loved one and then suddenly there’s a decision you don't agree with. What do you do? That depends on the decision and how strongly both of you feel about it. Talk about it. Share your concerns as positively as possible. Ask questions about your loved one's decision and how he or she arrived at it. If the decision means you will have to do something you know you can't, such as selling the family home, you can suggest that your loved one choose another person to be responsible for that action.
Keep in mind that, if you learn some financial assets will be going to your least favorite family member, there may be little you can do. You don't want to spend your last days and weeks with your loved one in arguments that leave ill feelings. As the saying goes, wisdom is knowing the difference between things you can change—and those you can't.
Free resources on a wide range of
end-of-life topics.
